I just got back from my honeymoon to New Caledonia.
New Caledonia is a non-self-governing territory ruled with an iron fist by the King of France, possibly having something to do with the man in the iron mask? Luckily in the capital city Noumea most people speak an English of sorts, so speaking French is optional.
There is a lot to like about New Caledonia; it has great beaches, food, a torrent of topless women, deadly wildlife and warm weather. Having gone there in July it is the middle of winter, just like from where I departed (Christchurch), the difference being about 20 degrees Celsius; the temperature there ranging from 20-25 ?C where as I left temperatures of < 10 ?C. Of course the locals were still complaining that it was far too cold and that their dog's had caught colds and had to go to the vet... The other benefit of going in July is that it is quiet and the beaches are almost empty.

Most of my time there was spent beaching, snorkeling, drinking, slothing, eating, caf? latte-ing, gambling and a few other deadly sins.
One of the more memorable sins would be going to the casino. The casino there is quite tacky and the hotel we were staying at gives you $5 worth of free chips to play your life with. Luckily I had auditioned for the hit tv show Numb3rs and was a pro at roulette. By only betting the free chips and taking my winnings every time I managed to win 100$, my streak came to an end when the dreaded 00 came up, so I walked away sticking it to the casino and the man.
As for gluttony, the food, beer and coffee there is great. Dinning out everyday can be a bit expensive, so it pays to go down to the supermarket and get some supplies, plus they have a huge range of stuffz.
The beaches there are great; they are quite warm, uncrowded and lots of fish for snorkeling. The only problem for swimming is the coral and the deadly Tricot Raye sea snake, on one beach there was a snake every 10 meters, luckily they are quite timid and have rear fangs which apparently makes it hard for them to bite humans.
Over there they drive on the right hand side of the road which I found to be a bit disorientating while crossing the road, so probably a good thing that I didn't hire a car. Most of the time we got around by walking, busing or catching a taxi - these methods all seemed to suffice for getting around Noumea.

The infamous Ghost Beach

Deadly and Ugly